(I give permission for this post to be reposted on other websites or blogs so long as credit is given to Arielle Sallee and a link to Living By Starlight is given. Excerpts may be posted, but the post may not be edited.)
There. I said it. I love autism.
I doubt very many people will read this. The ones that do (my family, mostly) probably don't know about the things going on in the autism blogosphere and wider community lately. About "I hate autism" and the murders of George Hodgins and Daniel Corby by their mothers. So to sum up: a few weeks ago, there was something of a blow-up because some autism parenting blog said "I hate autism" and people got offended (naturally, I think), and battle lines were drawn between parents and self-advocates and...it sucked. It just all sucked.
I'm not explaining things very well. I'm upset right now. But the point is that somehow, it was okay to say "I hate autism" to some people.
George Hodgins and Daniel Corby? A man and a boy--the former 22, the latter 4--both killed by their mothers. Both autistic (I'm not 100% about Daniel). And in both cases, the media reporting sympathized with the mother. As if it was understandable to kill an autistic person. As if killing your own child is ever, ever, ever okay. It's not, and some people have said it more eloquently than I have. I will link to some posts at the bottom.
But I have this to say, to this culture of hate, to these parents that hate what their children are: I love autism. I. Love. Autism. I don't tolerate it. I don't put up with it. I love it. I wouldn't change it. It's hard and it's challenging but I don't care.
A metaphor, to explain:
I love being a woman. I love being feminine. I love that my body can incubate and birth and nurture life. I am a goddess-hippy-yay-woman-power person. (And I suddenly have "I've Got a Theory" from "Once More, With Feeling" stuck in my head. Dammit, Joss Whedon.) Anyway, I love being a woman. I wouldn't want to not be one.
And yet, it's hard to be a woman. There's times when the physiology of it sucks. Childbirth is hard, and there is sexism and discrimination and body image issues. It's not a picnic. And I don't think men inherently suck. I like men, and I'm sure many men like being men, and it's hard to be a man sometimes. It's just that being a woman, hard as it is, is part of who I am. I'm happy with it, despite all the troubles.
So:
I love autism. I love being autistic. I love that my son is autistic. I love that we look at the world differently. I love the sensory information I get, the way soft things feel, the way I can go into this trance-like state from music and color that I'm not sure most people can get without drugs. I love that some things, like math and writing stories, are so easy. I love that I can hyperfocus so much on a thing that I can know it inside and out in relatively little time. I love that my son has learned to read before he's talking. I love that I never feel lonely just because I'm alone. I love that my son and I both seem to see things other people don't, and I wonder if what he sees is anything like what I see. I love the insight my fellow autistics have on the world. I love being autistic. I wouldn't want to not be, or want my son not to be.
And yet, it's hard to be autistic. There's times when sensory overload happens. There's times when I miss social cues in the middle of "seeing other things." This happens a lot, actually. I'm still learning to deal with all of this. I live in a society that devalues me and my son in so many ways it's hard to count. I don't feel that it's okay to ask for the things I need to get along in a world that is so different than the one I experience. And to a lot of people, it isn't okay.
I like--and love--a lot of non-autistic people. I don't think being autistic is some special new stage of evolution. I know it's hard to be a person sometimes, period, even when you're good at the social world. But being autistic, hard as it is, is part of who I am. It's part of who my son is. I wouldn't change him, any more than I would change my three "neurotypical" children.
If anybody does read this besides my family, and they agree with me: stand up and say you love autism. Stand up and say this isn't an epidemic. This isn't a burden. This isn't a reason to hate someone or fear them or kill them. This is part of who you are, or who your child or loved one is. This is part of being human, part of the fantastic diversity of our species. And it's not just okay, it's not just tolerable. It's a good thing.
I am observing Autism Acceptance Month. So should you.
Autism Acceptance Day and Month:
The blog
The Facebook event
The posts I mentioned above:
Stop the Murders of Disabled People on Facebook
This is What You Get on Journeys With Autism (Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg)
My Autistic Son's Life: Not Less Valuable on BlogHer (Shannon Des Roches Rosa)
Acceptance and Murder on The Standard Review
Remembering George Hodgins on Illusion of Competence
There's a lot more but these stuck out. I apologize if I've improperly linked anyone.
