On Religion

Firstly, I've been hermiting this last week or so, for a variety of reasons. It was the second week of my three-week school break and thus a great time to get away from people, and Richard had to go out a lot during the week so I had a chance to be really alone. In addition, the media coverage leading up to the tenth anniversary of 9/11 brought me nothing but pain, and so I pretty much avoided the rest of the internet trying to pretend it was any other week of the year, ever. I understand wanting to hash and re-hash a painful event--I do it all the time, to everything--but there's no closure or solace to be found there, just more wondering "how can people be so awful?"

I played video games instead, or read, and spent one whole wonderful day with barely any stimulation at all. But "how can people be so awful" isn't a question I can easily escape; it's one I run into every time I do venture into the world and encounter stories of people lying, hurting each other, hating each other. Sometimes I can make sense of things from an evolutionary perspective, but far too often it just makes no sense at all. And then I've been playing Assassin's Creed II a lot, and the whole series is full of discussions of religion, and what religion is for, and ethics and morality and... oy. I can't remember the last time a major character in a video game said that their side really wasn't the "good guys." The shades of grey inherent in playing a character who kills in order to bring about peace and free will are not at all avoided.

So, as the topic of the post might suggest, I have been thinking about religion lately. Specifically, my lack of some specific religious practice, and whether or not I need one. I'm sure plenty of people might say "of course you don't!" And some, who I fervently hope aren't reading this post, might lambast me for not practicing whatever it is they believe. I do know what I believe--generally. That's not what this is about.

The thing is, I think that God is a concept that can't be easily hammered down. Whatever god or gods there may be are, by definition, something the human mind isn't going to be able to comprehend right now. I've already answered the question of whether I can be a scientist and still believe in God--of course I can. "Is there a God?" is not a scientific hypothesis, because the question can't be disproven. Did God cause the Big Bang? I don't know, honestly. Maybe so--even if our universe is but one of many, God could have started the genesis of this universe within the larger whole. Or maybe it's more of a natural process. My concept of God does not demand that said being created the universe, or its laws--maybe everything simply is. But whatever's going on, it's not something that science can answer, and things that science discover don't get in the way of there being a God. In fact, it's when I look at the grandeur and beauty of the universe that I feel most connected to God. The reality that science tells me exists is the reality that shows me God.

So, do I need a religion, or can I go on calling myself a religious naturalist? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religious_naturalism for reference) I think the main reason I still yearn for some religious practice is my desire for order and ritual. I've found a great deal of comfort in the trappings of the religions I've tried on over the years, from Christian denominations to neopaganism. To be honest, though--and not to insult anyone, really--far too few practitioners of both Christianity and paganism that I've met have a true desire to use their intellect to explore and understand the world, they're far too willing to accept whatever they're told.

I get that this happens everywhere, but I guess what I'm looking for, if I'm going to adopt some religion or other, is that thinking and learning and teaching be at the core of the religion. Modern druidry offers this--sort of--but it too often accepts the dubious practices of pseudoscience on their face. And then, of course, there's Richard and the kids--if I go one way, do they have to? Will they feel like they have to? So, I'm at a bit of a loss of just what to do.

I have some thoughts on this regard, but they are as yet malleable and not-quite-formed. I will post more if I come to some sort of understanding or decision. What I do know is that I need a framework of some sort. Stay tuned.